It is no secret that an image of a woman who has time for everything is in trend today. Jack-of-all-trades: a wife, a mom, a lady of the house and a business lady all in one. However, in chase of such an image moms inevitably wonder if it is possible to combine work and family without prejudice to the child.
1. Treat yourself with care.
Both motherhood and professional self-realization require a lot of energy. It is necessary to replenish your life regularly in order to combine both activities safely for health and good relationship within the family.
Find something that helps you, and that it is available for frequent use. It will be better if such methods will be different and let your family know about them. In this case, it would be easier to support you.
Combining work and children upbringing you have to find balance and choose something. Pick out what is important for you and requires the greatest concentration and efforts. And let the rest take its course.
There are duties, which have to be done regularly, and it is hard to go without them, for example, food cooking. Think at how to make the task easier. Say if the rissoles are baked in oven their taste is almost the same as that fried in the pan, but you pay much less attention to them.
3. Ask for the help.
There are many options: relatives, nannies, baby-sitters, homemakers and different services like home delivery and dry-cleaning. Do not forget about home appliances. Multicooker helps to decide an issue of a healthy breakfast without sacrificing sleep. Robot vacuum cleaner will freshen the floors in the apartment and evening watching of filmstrips will help children fall asleep.
By the way, slide projectors are produced nowadays and modern devices have even more options. For example, “MULTiKUBIK” company produces CINEMOOD mini-cinemas. Besides cartoons, it contains an entire library of filmstrips. You can lie down on the bed with a child, direct a ray of projection on the ceiling, and read him or her fairy tales with pictures in the dark. Such a tradition guarantees an untroubled sleep for children and some more free time for you.
4. Show creativity.
Some things can be done simultaneously: you can knit and tell a fairy tale to the child, listen a webinar and do gymnastics.
Think of how to fill the forced pauses in traffic jams, queues, waiting to start the computer, near the dormant baby who does not want to let you go.
5. Draw the child into.
Some part of your staff from the list is quite able to do with your child, without waiting him for sleep.
Children can put things in their places (if the baby is small yet, he can be carried away with a “pimply” film, and you can entrust elder child with sorting by colors or size), staple the documents, put papers by folders and print with their own toy printer in a way like mom does if the process will be in the form of the game.
I began buying into the myth of “doing it all” at an early age. In my 20s, I had my checklist life in mind: start a lucrative career right after college, meet someone and fall in love, get married by age 30, get my career to a successful enough point that I could take some time off without losing footing, and then, get pregnant and have my first child before 35. It seemed like a realistic timeline of expectations and, according to the tenets of feminism, not only could I do it all – it was my right and even my duty as a woman to do it all.
With age, wisdom, and each successive child (I now have 4), I learned that by trying to do it all, especially at the same time, I was not doing anything at a level of 100 percent effort or enjoyment. There was simply too much to accomplish to feel 100 percent about anything other than my stress level.
While there is no magic pill you can take to achieve”work-life balance,” there are a few things I’ve learned over the years that have helped me keep my sanity and actually enjoy the daily juggle of motherhood, marriage and career.
Whether your work is at home, in the office, or both, these 10 tips have helped me find a healthier work-life balance, and I hope they will help you too:
1. Find your own balance.
There IS no perfect balance when it comes to motherhood, career and marriage. It’s up to you to prioritize, make adjustments and decide what you are and are not prepared to do. Don’t tell yourself “I should be able to,” or “She/he can do it, so I ought to be able to.” Most importantly, don’t listen to anyone else telling you what you should or should not be able to do! Pay attention to your own needs and well-being. If you feel you’re out of balance day in, day out, then you are! It’s time to look at what’s going on and reevaluate. Be willing to re-negotiate your work duties, as well as your parenting duties. They WILL change over time.
2. Choose “good enough” over “perfect.”
All the pressure that women today put on themselves today to be the perfect mother, the perfect worker, and the perfect wife (with the perfect physique!), takes the joy out of motherhood and saps us of energy. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just give ourselves – and others – a break? When something needs to be done, ask yourself: is it important that the job is just done, or done perfectly? Nine out of 10 times, the answer will be “just done.” For example, Ginnie has always done the family laundry, and she’s developed a system that works. However, now she’s working full-time, she just can’t handle that task in addition to everything else. She ignored her husband’s offers of help because she didn’t trust him to do it properly. Finally, after it had become a huge issue, she let it go. Her husband now shares the task with her. He doesn’t do it her way, and she can still get irritated by the way he flings mangled baby t-shirts with their sleeves still inside out on the radiators, but she is learning to turn a blind eye
3. Don’t be a martyr.
“I’ve got so much to do.” “I’ve got to do everything round here.” Do these sentences ring a bell? Do you feel put upon and resentful while at the same time hogging all the work? If so, martyrdom could become an addiction for you, pushing you to take on more, draining you physically and emotionally and raising your stress levels. And here’s the interesting part – it’s your ego talking. The motivation for martyrdom, and the big payoff, is that it makes you feel important. You think it makes you look busy and important. It doesn’t. It’s annoying and infuriating for people around you and it makes you look like…a martyr! Solution? Ask for help and let other people take the weight off your shoulders. And learn to say NO firmly and often.
4. Draw a line between home and work.
This is easier said than done in today’s world, when we carry our work around with us on our Blackberries, iPhones and other portable devices. It’s hard to unplug and “turn off” your work duties you get home (or worse, if you work from home), just as it’s hard to “turn off” worries about kids and home life when you are at work. Try this trick. “Download” the things that are on your mind before you leave work (or home). Write your “To Do”list on a piece of paper, or type it into your computer or Blackberry, so you remember the things you need to do when you get back. Keep your mind focused on the fact that this is the end of that activity, workday or tasks at home. Then put away your “To Do” list and LEAVE IT until the next day.
5.Put on your oxygen mask first.
Moms, that means you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others – including your kids, your husband, your aging parents. Take time out for YOU. It’s not selfish; it’s necessary. Exercise, meditate, read, hang with friends. Schedule one night once a week that you do something that you enjoy. It doesn’t apply to things you think will be good for you or things that your children or partner would enjoy. This is for you. Whatever it is – having a meal with someone, reading a novel in the bath or lolling on the sofa with a glass of wine, watching TV – make it non-negotiable. Turn off your mobile, don’t check your emails, and screen incoming calls. Stick to it and don’t put it off.
6. Say NO to mommy guilt.
Take the “S” word – SHOULD – out of your vocabulary. When other people tell you that you SHOULD be making your own organic baby food, or that you SHOULDN’T be letting your kids watch TV – ever, or that you SHOULD breastfeed your baby for a full year, or that you SHOULD go back to work because you owe it to yourself and the Women’s Movement and it’s a safety net for the future, just let it go. Do what works for you. Don’t internalize all the SHOULDs that fill your life.
7. Remember, to compare is to despair.
You may think your neighbor has got it all, but take my word for it, she doesn’t! We all face our own struggles as mothers, wives and workers. It’s time to move past the Mommy Wars – when working moms look down on stay-at-home moms, and stay-at-home moms criticize the working moms. Better to spend your energy supporting other women, rather than judging them. It will benefit us all in the long run.
8. Just. Slow. Down.
A friend of mine told me that when her kids were little, she would repeat to herself the mantra: “the days are long, but the years are short.” Sometimes, it feels like you are tending to so many important tasks at the very same moment. If you can make that important phone call while driving your kids to school, you are using your time well. Yes, you may be getting that call out of the way, but if you are talking on the phone, and driving, and your kids are in the car, nothing that you are doing is getting 100% of your attention. You are cheating the person on the phone, your are cheating your kids, and you are not paying attention to the road ahead of you.
9. Redefine “success.”
Women today are admitting that the “do it all” mantra of the 70s and 80s is making them feel overwhelmed, anxious and depressed. We need to re-define what it means to be a success today – a definition that doesn’t include the words superwoman, supermom, or doing it all. For those moms who are working, pat yourself on the back for doing your best at juggling kids and career. It’s not easy. For moms who have taken time off to raise kids, know that you are doing the most important job in the world.
10. Find your passion…and follow it!
One of the keys to being happy – as a mother, worker and wife – is to find a vocation, job or hobby that will bring joy to your life. If you find a job that combines your passion with bringing in an income, all the better. If not, pursue this passion outside of your work – be it gardening, tennis, writing, or just enjoying time in the company of friends.
Charm bracelets are always an excellent gift for someone. After all, it is a gift that you can keep upgrading with each year. In fact, if you buy a charm bracelet for your better half, you can buy a new charm for every occasion you think of. But, picking a perfect one isn’t easy. Therefore, we are here to recommend the best charm bracelets you can buy.
Alexy Charm Bracelet
Alexy jewelry prides itself on being able to provide accessories you can use for every great moment in your life. They focus their efforts on creating superb products with stylish designs and affordable prices. And to top it all off, the design is very cute. This bracelet comes with ten charms you can choose to use. Those include a unicorn, a star, a key, a heart, a four-leaf clover and more.
Choker Snake Chain
This cute charm bracelet can easily fit even your most elegant outfits. But, it also won’t clash with your casual wear either. So, we can definitely say that it is a very useful piece of jewelry. You can easily add or remove charms and beads by opening the clasp. In no time, you will have a unique piece of jewelry you can further customize at will.
Daycindy Multiple Layer Charm Bracelet
If you prefer bracelets with that extra bling to them, Daycindy is the best match for you. Every single bracelet will be handmade and polished by skillful workers. In fact, that process makes this bracelet so shiny everyone will notice it. And, the adorable details will prompt people around you to give you compliments on your lovely bracelet.
Eunigem Charm Bracelet With a Message
This adorable, elegant charm bracelet is the most beautiful bracelet you will find. It is classy, delicate, and it carries a powerful message on it. Namely, every bracelet comes with a charm saying “She believed she could – so she did.” It is a perfect gift for any friend you might have that has successfully overcome difficulties in their life.
Sromay Blank Wire
Believe it or not, some people prefer to make their own jewelry from nothing. So, for them, the best gift would be a bracelet without charms on it. That way, they can work on the bracelet themselves and customize it to their taste. These bracelets are also very useful to people whose earlier charm bracelet had already met an untimely demise.
Monily Charm Bracelet – Steel Heart
Not every charm bracelet has to have dozens of charms on it to look good. In fact, some look even better when they have a single charm that then pops out properly. Exactly that is the case with this Monily initial charm bracelet. It comes with a single, beautiful stainless steel heart with a letter on it. The workers try hard to polish it to the level at which it is hard to discern it from sterling silver.
Q&Q Fashion – Silver Plated Alice in Wonderland Bracelet
If you are a big fan of the book, you will never be willing to separate from this bracelet. It comes with every single charm you would ever want to see on an Alice in Wonderland themed bracelet, and the craftsmanship is incredible. Even the mirrors actually work, and can serve you in a pinch. The only flaw it has is that the watch is just for show. But then again, you are not buying this bracelet to check the time.